Imagine a world in which mental hygiene — the health of our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions — is dinner table conversation. Having discussions around how we process, interpret and react to ourselves and our environments is a measure of how mature we are. By continuous deliberation, we are tacitly acknowledging that we are imperfect, but also striving to learn and grow.
People speak of emotions like it’s best to avoid them. In our world, they’ve come to be known as an unruly, incomprehensible, unwarranted nuisance. But the truth is emotions are at the heart of the majority of the thoughts we have and the decisions we make. So like it or not we have to regulate them; else they will perniciously warp our actions in ways we cannot fathom. More urgently, only by decoding our emotions can we get to a level of objectivity that can propel us in the right direction. Is it valid to feel this way? Can I think of this situation in a way that will help me more? What should I prioritize?
Only by understanding yourself, and spending more time reflecting on the events in your life, and how they make you feel or think, can you develop mental agility — the ability to think of a situation in different ways, and choose what’s appropriate or useful at a given point of time.
So while there’s no absolute right or wrong answer, there’s always a more helpful answer. That’s the gift of perspective. We surely develop a more nuanced way of looking at the world as we mature. But what also helps is learning from the experiences and learnings of others.
For starters, it just helps to know there are others who are in the same boat as us. This validates how we feel. In the words of Alain De Botton, “It helps immensely too to know that we are in company. Despite the upbeat tone of society in general, there is solace in the discovery that everyone else is, in private, of course as bewildered and regretful as we are. That is not Schadenfreude, simply profound relief that we are not the only ones.”
Second, hearing from others promotes acceptance by normalizing things. If she/he/they can feel it, so can I! Once acceptance is under the way, the focus immediately goes to so what, what now, what next? When our energy is not spent fighting, denying or hating the situation, we move to problem-solving mode. We become more objective, start to see things more clearly, and piece things together. But to get to this stage, we need to accept things and process our emotions. And to hasten the process, some insight and encouragement doesn’t hurt!
So how do we usher people so that they improve their mental hygiene? The answer doesn’t have to be complicated. We can crowd-source different perspectives, like we do funds, to see how we’d like to proceed.
While people are wary of speaking about their mental health publicly, I believe they’d speak about it privately (if their anonymity is guarded). Imagine a world in which a person can write a personal motivational message or life learning for someone out there they don’t know. This message is auto transferred from person A to person B without
1. Person A knowing it’s gone to person B or who person B is
2. Person B knowing it’s come from person A or who person A is
People can tag what types of anonymous messages they’d like to receive — for example about depression, ADHD, abuse etc. The receiver can choose to share this message among his/her/their social network so that mental health is normalized, and stories of strength are even celebrated. It’s almost like an underground, secret mail service for mental health!
If done well, this is a great way to pay it forward and spread more realism and positivity into the world. If misused, the sender will be blocked from sharing any message on the platform provided a grievance is raised by the receiver.
Stories and learnings aid, shape and inspire people. So why not nourish our minds with the wisdom of others?
